Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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