I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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