I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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