did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
