it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
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My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
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Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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