Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
