No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
