whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
