I'm going to jail i love you
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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