I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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