He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
