Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
