loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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