I'm an idiot
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.