so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.