Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell