Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.