Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq

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(810): View more from Michigan

ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth

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(810): ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth http://tfl.nu/99n5

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.

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(402): So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing. http://tfl.nu/7on0

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(860): View more from Connecticut

but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers

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(860): but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers http://tfl.nu/f9xh

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(225): View more from Louisiana

This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.

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(225): This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season. http://tfl.nu/y1m7

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(210): View more from Texas

Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...

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(210): Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend... http://tfl.nu/o37o

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(706): In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure. http://tfl.nu/bjg9

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(850): View more from Florida

I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.

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(850): I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school. http://tfl.nu/ocap

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(614): View more from Ohio

We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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(614): We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg http://tfl.nu/vi48

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(303): View more from Colorado

The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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(303): The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING.... http://tfl.nu/av21

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(301): View more from Maryland

I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class

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(301): I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class http://tfl.nu/5zh9

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(904): View more from Florida

But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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(904): But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore? http://tfl.nu/czg8

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.

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(228): Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high. http://tfl.nu/9q6n

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(916): View more from California

There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going

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(916): There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going http://tfl.nu/cnx7

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

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