hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere