dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my being single is dangerous.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
