Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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