like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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