ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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