There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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