I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize