SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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