dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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