and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
