Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have demons in me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
