Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
