shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
