next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
