Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
