I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
