you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
