You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
