cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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