So drunk its hurt
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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