I want to have your abortion
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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