I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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