remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
