Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
