I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your cock deserves a montage
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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