Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A+ Viking dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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