I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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