The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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