No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize