Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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