He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
