i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
