they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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