Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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