It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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