Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
