Whod you bang
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
