the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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