I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't think brook has ever known best
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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