You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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