The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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