I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
ttyl tear gas
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
