So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What a dumb baby whore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
