I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
